Das Keyboard: Ich Liebe Diche

Posted on May 28, 2010

4:35pm. It’s getting on in the day. Almost time to retire. I wrap up the methods I’m working on and start thinking about the evening’s activities. Dinner. That sort of thing. My lint check goes red. I’m not used to syntax errors these days. Curiously I pour through the report and grumpily begin the process of hunting it down so I can check in my code and get to the leftovers I’m thinking of. “Ebeds.” Funny I think… not a spelling mistake I would typically miss. Easily enough I hunt down the sucker and go to punch in the missing consonant.

“m.” Hm. Nothing. “m.m.m.m.” Damn thing.

Letters left and right start failing on me. I struggle to shutdown my computer without resorting to hitting the switch. Luckily I have enough keys left working to find a command in my shell history that I can call it up and the system can begin its powerdown cycle safely. I sigh and pull out the broken keyboard and toss it onto the pile of past failures collecting dust in the closet.

I pull out… the backup. If you’re like me then you know how painful this is. You go through keyboards all the time. They just don’t make them like they used to so you have a spare around just for times like these. They’re dark times. Times of many syntax errors because the backup is a cheap knock-off where they stuck only one or two important keys in wierd places to avoid patent lawyers. They’re painful times when you’re trying to get your ideas out and the keys are fighting you every step of the way. And the dust! It’s just too much. I do not relish the time in-between keyboards when I have to use the spare. It’s no good.

This time I had had it. I’ve burnt out one too many keyboards in my lifetime. It was time I looked into some serious kit. Something that will last, be comfortable, and look smart. No more flimsy throw-away keyboards and their derivative red-haired cousins. It was time for a real keyboard.
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Enter the Das Keyboard. I ordered it immediately. I haven’t anticipated the arrival of anything this much since before I discovered the truth about Santa Clause. I checked the tracking number every few hours. When I saw it was on the truck this morning when I woke, I decided to take the laptop out on the balcony to work so that I could make sure I saw the truck coming with my precious cargo. When I finally got it I was full of glee and joy. I ripped open the box and pulled it out as fast as I could… and as soon as I laid my eyes upon it, I knew. This was meant to be.

This is the bodhisattva of keyboards. It has seen the way. It will bring you enlightenment if you just let your mind be like a calm pond in the morning. Still. Empty. Clear. Just being in the presence of this keyboard will show you the potential within yourself to be a great typist.

First, it’s sturdy. If your my age, they’re sturdy like the keyboards of your youth. Maybe like your dad’s keyboards if you’re one of them young'uns. They don’t make quality components like this very often. When I came across reviews that said this thing was heavy (as ludicrous as it sounds), I was halfway sold. It weighs just over three pounds. It doesn’t bend or rattle if you tap it or knock it around a bit. It’s a very solid keyboard.

The clickey-clack. This actually brought a bit of joy to my face after watching a few Youtube reviews of the device. I reserve any serious writing for my typewriter. Why? The travel in the keys. The feedback. Mechanical keys have a balanced amount of “bounce” to them. They travel backwards against your presses, allowing you to fly across the board with less effort and higher accuracy. The keys on this Das Keyboard are really good. The sound isn’t actually that loud and the response is simply incredible.

Finally… the style. I’m a touch typist. For some reason I am rather proud of it too. This keyboard is the perfect way to show off a little. There are no markings on the keys. You have to rely 100% on muscle memory if you are to be efficient with it. There are some drawbacks to this that I’ve found. First: passwords. My typing memory seems to remember the “shapes” of words. I’m able to type words I use more frequently faster than the ones I have to remember. However, I don’t use any words in my passwords; so the seemingly random alpha-numeric sequences I use are a bit of a challenge. However, challenges can be overcome with a little practice so I don’t foreseeing this being a real problem. If you are already a proficient touch-typist or you want to become one, do not hesitate to get this keyboard.

Spend time absorbing what you can from this bodhisattva. In time you will learn much. You will learn the way. Your mind will be clear and your intentions will reveal themselves to you on the screen without effort or conscious thought. It’s almost that magical to type on this keyboard. Das Keyboard. I love you.

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