It was as if I had finally decided to bring home a pernicious lost pup who’d been following me for days. I didn’t really see it at first until I had caught it in a mirror out of the corner of my eye. Then as the week rolled on I would keep an eye out for it and sure as rain it was there. It almost brought a smile to my face every time I saw it. And even though I tried not to because I knew my wife wouldn’t let me keep it, one day I just couldn’t help myself. I cleaned the poor thing up and brought him home.
I called him, “stache.” Not the most creative name I know, but he was a simple moustache and needed no aggrandizement. We had fun together that day. I’d scratch his whiskers and he would follow me where ever I went. We laughed together and watched the sun set. I even showed him to my friends and they loved him. They say a moustache is a man’s best friend. After that sunny day I couldn’t agree more.
[caption id=“attachment_516” align=“alignright” width=“225” caption=“My ‘stache and me”][/caption]
Unfortunately I don’t have my awesome “stache,” anymore. When my wife got home she was less than impressed. Even though he warmed on her by the next day, she still wouldn’t let me keep him. It just wasn’t practical and we already have two cats. It’s a pretty full house without my moustache. She’s a strong woman and I knew that my protestations were selfish. So I went to the bathroom later that afternoon and shaved him off. I watched him swirl away down the drain never to be seen again.
I came out of the washroom feeling like I had just drowned a puppy. Even though he’s gone now, I’ll never forget my time with him. Stache taught me something. Something about being a man. Something every man should know.
So if you ever find yourself bringing home your own moustache, you hold on to him and hold on tight. Never let go. He’ll be your best friend in good times and bad. Every man needs to know what it’s like to have a moustache. I know that now. To those men who’ve held on to their moustaches, I salute you!